Monday, 28 March 2016

The Tango of The Tangible and The Intangible

I will get this out of the way up front as this happened this morning and in a way really touched off this debate. In truth I had been pondering these thoughts all weekend regardless.  . . . I have lost my Western Home. 

When I got up this morning and was about to start packing up at the bonny time of 4 AM I saw a note taped to Wanda’s door. I thought about taking a picture of it but I had already ripped it out of anger.

In essence it said that the management of this [big box retail store] doesn’t allow RV units to camp longer than 24 hours. (This must be a very new policy, as I had no problems last weekend.)

The words of the sign were in large bold font and the paper was bright red, you couldn’t miss it. It was taped to the door with packing tape, to make sure it stayed. This was, in actual fact, an eviction notice from my Western Home.

I will move on, I will be okay as there are always other places to park. This place had been my weekend home for the last year and a half, nay almost two years. 

I have dutifully shopped in that store and tried to be as considerate as I could while there, every weekend for the length of time that I have been there. 

It would have been nice to have been told politely in person, but this way there is no confrontation, unless I storm in there and seek one out; that is not my style and in any case, wouldn’t change anything. 

I understand and respect that it is private property and that they are within their rights to decided who can park there and for how long they can do so. I have no claim to my favourite spot in that parking lot, no matter how attached I may get to it.

It did remind me of the fact that in essence, I have no place to belong and no right to be anywhere. I have no claim to any particular spot and so I can be shooed along from any space at just about any time; for pretty much no reason at all.

This is why the thought of home ownership is appealing, a place that is mine and a place to put down roots. It is the financial aspects of this plan, however, which gives me a moment of pause.

Let’s say I buy a place and the mortgage is at my target of $1000.00 per month. Okay, assuming it is not (a dreaded and dastardly) condo [spit] then I will still have an estimated $500.00 in taxes and utilities per month. 

Those two things combined will take up all of the cash I have freed up I my budget for first debt relief and then savings. This will leave me with nothing left over for anything else . . . like furniture. 

Even then I will be left scrambling to scrimp and save in order to pay my now much higher fuel costs driving back and forth between the city and my house. As any house or acreage that I could afford would be at least an hour away from work.

The flipside is that if I keep living in Wanda then by August of next year I could pay Wanda off and then by the following January (January 2018) the Treabilla loan will be done. 

That will leave me fully and completely debt free with an estimated $8 – 10K in savings. Not bad for freezing my butt off through two more winters. 

Then again, I hate the cold, so there is that. Add to that the fact that I have no life and am a constant wanderer, there is that too. 

So you see that logically the best thing is to wait and pay everything off in a little more than year and a half.  Yet, contrasting that is the fact that I am tired of this constant wanderer, constantly cold, lifestyle. 

This is the dance of these two often conflicting impulses: the practical things we can see and touch and the things which we cannot see and touch: our thoughts, feelings and desires. In essence and at its core this is logic dancing with the heart.

We need to dance this dance, as we have no choice, but we can direct where this dance goes, and after all, we chose what we do, nobody chooses that for us.

I have thought about renting a room again, at least when it grows cold this fall. The problem with that was the fact that I never felt comfortable not having my own entrance. I always felt like a constant houseguest. 

In any event, as it sits right now, I am still not sure what I am actually going to do, but I will keep my savings plan going and see what happens come August. 

Who knows, I may find the perfect house, in the perfect location and have already met the right gal to help me make that house a home. 

As always: Keep your head up, your attitude positive, and keep moving forward!

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