Wednesday 11 May 2016

Determination Vs Delusion

Any time you set a goal for yourself, a bold goal there is the chance that you won’t achieve that goal. You don’t always hit everything you shoot for, and there is always a chance that when you pull that trigger, that you will miss.

For someone who has low self-confidence and is used to missing goals, this is not a problem; for someone who is used to achieving goals this is a problem.

I set out this month to get my finances back on track by pausing my Long-Term savings plan this month. I made a deal with myself to pay this month’s money back in future months, so far so good. 

Well, this month has been slower than usual at work and this means that the fluctuating part of my paycheque is down a bit more than usual. This means that this payday along with the next will be less than usual and certainly less than anticipated, which in turn puts greater pressure on my already tight budget. 

The logical and sensible thing to do would be just cut back on what I put into my Mid-Term Savings Account. As in don’t put that full $1K in there and top it up next month. Or, mayhaps just not quite make it out of my own personal overdraft this month.

Therein lies the problem, if I do either of these options it would mean missing my goal for this month . . .  and I don’t like missing a goal. I have cut back my budget to the absurd and have been able to make it work. 

If my paycheque looks any rosier than I can afford to fund things again, starting with my food budget . . . at all. My current plan is to just stretch out my food as much as I can and just put what essentials I need on a credit card (to be dutifully paid off next payday).

I know that this plan of action is ill-advised, but I like the challenge of seeing if I can do it (I’m sick that way). I also like finding a way, anyway, to achieve a goal that I have set for myself. Once again, I would never ask anyone else to go through this, but I demand it of myself. 

This highlights a conflict within me and anyone who is so dedicated to achieving a goal or carrying out a particular course of action: at what point does dedication and determination morph into delusion? 

At what point must you accept that you must give up on this course of action and just accept that you will miss a goal that you have set out for yourself? 

As yet I have not met that place yet, and I hope that I never will. Still, it is worth mentioning, and worth keeping in mind. I will do this, however, I will make it through, and I will be fine. 

As always, keep your head up, your attitude positive and keep moving forward.

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