Tuesday, 5 January 2016

The Rearing of Stubborn Pride

As I went through my day yesterday with those options bouncing around in my head, one voice kept nagging away at me. It almost felt like I was a Captain who was abandoning ship, mid-voyage (an odd yet accurate analogy). Each time I considered an action or direction which would get me out of Wanda and into some fixed address, that nagging voice taunted me.

“What? Are you saying you can’t do it?” 

“Have you lost your nerve?” 

“Is the weather and life on the road too tough for you?” 

And the worst of them all . . . 

“Giving up so soon?” 

It is true that my goal was to get rid of my credit card debt, and I have done that. Also I have taught myself to manage my finances better. I keep $1K in the account at all times and I keep my credit cards at a $0 balance, paying them off each payday. 

I have mastered my finances and my credit card debt, so why is this not enough for me? Why can’t I be satisfied with that and accept the other debt that I have as “Normal” and get a comfy place? 

I am still me, that’s why. 

When I achieve a goal, I set another one, a higher one and work towards it. As I sit here, I am still tempted and allured by the dream of owning my home and being free to travel where I like and live really cheaply. 

For me, it would allow me to pursue these various projects that are also bouncing around in my head. I could finally try my hand at the ones that I can’t do with a regular job, while saddled down with debt. 

I could: 

Find a small piece of land in the boonies and live there while I write. 
Work on various film sets, literally living on set (Who would notice one more trailer?)
Start a travel webseries.
The possibilities are endless . . .  

Yet, I still hate winter and don’t like the loneliness that this current lifestyle (or my interpretation of it) necessitates. I suppose my goal for this year is to find a way to compromise, perhaps finding a place to park Wanda and plug-in over winter would be a nice way to weather the winter, say Oct 1 to March 31.

Hmm . . . a campsite sponsor of this endeavour would be hot . . . (applications to sponsor me with a year-round campsite being accepted now).

This is an ever evolving process, but I will continue to save up what cash I can as I move forward. If nothing else, if I save as much as I can, I could pay my truck off this time next year . . . two years early. (that also is a tempting prospect).

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