No Place to Belong

I am a constant guest, a perpetual trespasser. No matter where I go, I have no right to be there. In essence I have no place to belong. Don’t get me wrong, I belong in my trailer, and I do feel at home there. It is just there is no little corner of the world that is my own, no place where I feel welcome.I also know that I chose this lifestyle, I was not forced into it. This sensation just comes with the territory.

The closet I feel to being at home is when I am camping, as I have electricity (and usually) running water and sewer. As well, nobody can make me move along, as I have rented it, it is mine for as long as I have paid for it.

Saturday and Sunday were good writing days and I have now lengthened the last of the short chapters. There is still the matter of that one chapter I want to shoehorn in there somewhere. I can either put it in two places, but I feel it needs a bit extra at the end. I am now pondering what that chapter should be so, as I say, that idea is percolating, it will be ready soon.

Last night I plugged in and waited until just after 8 pm to do so. I was plugged in and all tucked into bed about half an hour later when I heard a vehicle pull up. Now, living in an RV and always being parked either on the street or in parking lots this is not a new experience for me. I have had my share of people drive by fast and slow. I have gotten good at gauging where a car is and how far away they are while lying in bed.

Last night not long after I got tucked into bed a car pulled up beside me. They pulled up slowly and parked parallel to my trailer door about ten feet away. They sat there for what felt like a minute, I even had time to get out of bed, put my glasses on and lift the nearest shades a bit.

I recognized the car from earlier that evening, it was parked a few doors down. Before I move to park behind work I do a walk by to ensure that the area is quiet and no cars are back there. The last thing I want to do is interfere with anyone doing legitimate work.

I looked out because I was curious and wanted a warning of someone was going to knock on my door. They didn’t get out of their car; they just took a picture and drove off . . . slowly.  Naturally this unnerved me. Imagine if someone pulled up in front of your house late at night, took a picture and drove off. I sat there for a minute as I decided what to do.

I decided I would get no sleep there so I moved to one of my other safe spots just down the road. As I did I was irked as I had done nothing wrong. I have permission to be there, I was not behind anyone’s bay but my work.

The trouble is that with the break-in last week, people around this place have been a bit on edge. I know that, and perhaps they felt that I was a burglar about to break in. What I do know is that this means that I can’t plug in for the foreseeable future. I don’t need the hassle. It is a good thing that I bought Jenny as I will now rely on her for my power to charge my batteries.

I know what you’re thinking, I should just find a place to rent or a place to park and plugin. I have looked and there are one or two places are available but they are the same as renting a room, about $500.00 a month for a parking space (in the alley) and access to an outlet. If I do that I will miss my August target for paying the cards off and that is not happening.

I don’t regret doing this Urban Nomad lifestyle as in the warmer weather it is nice. I know that I am in a much better place financially then I was a year ago. I keep focussed on getting my debts under control and my savings building up. Then I can move towards buying a corner of the world that is my own. Till then I will park where I like, and try not to disturb anyone.

Long Day, But Worth It

Friday afternoons I usually do my running around and even do my laundry before ending up in my Western Home. Today I worked till about 6:00 pm and then just didn’t go anywhere. The important thing is that I did get that package out for that customer, and that is something.  That is worth it to me, even if I don’t get paid for the extra hours. (it was my choice and I didn’t get permission first).

I did go for a bite to eat after work as I didn’t feel like making dinner. I returned in time to park and plug in but there were people parked behind that renovating bay again. I set my alarm to wake me up in an hour and a half but when it went off, I didn’t bother getting up. 

I did a bit of running around this morning and edited a chapter this morning before ending up at my library. I am how half way through the second pass of the second chapter. It is taking a bit longer as this one needed to be fattened up a bit. Once again, the editing is going well and on schedule. 

With the warmer weather and my warmer clothes I have taken to try the trick of cranking the heat up to 20 for the evening then turning the furnace off for the night. By morning it seems to level out at 10C. so I save propane and still don’t freeze. I know the cold weather is coming though, and I will adjust to it again. 

Those thoughts of selling Trea and getting an older, paid for at once vehicle has returned, but I know that now is not the time to rock the boat. I would want to have Wanda parked somewhere nice and safe first. 

Then I could sell Trea and shop for that other vehicle. Or just buy that second vehicle first and then sell Trea, that would be the smart thing to do. 

I don’t want to trade her in as you always loose that way. Hmm. I will think on this but most likely won’t do anything until next August, at the earliest. I want to have the cards paid off before I do anything rash.

I seem to be constantly tired as I have trouble sleeping, or rather staying asleep; I always seem to wake up early. I am looking forward to that break at the end of this month, despite the cold weather that seems to be coming with it. 

The one thing I know is that the real cold weather is coming and will stay for a few months at least. I am ready for it, and can handle it. In doing so I can and will be better off financially, the cold may come but the warmer weather will too.

Long Day and Short Chapters Ahead

So far I have been a good boy and driven very little. I am trying to save as much as I can on fuel so as to save my fuel budget, as my next payday will be tight. I am also spending as little as possible on groceries or other expenses as well, for the same reason . . . so far so good.

I did drive to one of my favourite parking lots to put the slide-out out so I could spread out, sleep and go for a bit of takeout (via my mad money budget). I parked, put the slide-out out, walked over to get some Mexican food, yum. I was back in Wanda sitting having dinner when I had a ‘drive by.’

I have had them before but not like this one. A few times people will drive by or park perpendicular to Wanda with their headlights on. This was a drive by so close the passenger could have reached out of their window and touched Wanda. They didn’t drive by fast either, it was a slow examining look as they drove past. 

I almost stepped out to challenge them (nicely) but they drove off. I was unnerved and knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep so I drove to a quiet street near work and stayed there. Those dishes still didn’t get done, but I did get an early nights rest. 

Work has been steady and for the most part I like the steady days at work. For one the day goes by quicker and that is nice. Another reason is that when you are moving and are productive you feel like you are giving good value for the money the company spends on your salary.

Today is usually my shortest day at work as usually we end the day at 2pm and sometimes at 1pm. It is a nice treat to have part of the afternoon off to do errands. Today it will not be so; today I have to stick around to make sure this crucial order gets to a customer. 

One of our customers works in the film industry and there is a shoot coming up real soon. We were supposed to have the stuff for this order in earlier this week but for one reason or another it was delayed. It is coming in today . . . sometime . . . before the close of business, they won’t be any more specific. 

So this means that I will stick around, wait for this package to arrive, process the order then wait for the other shipping company to pick it up. I may end up leaving on time or sticking around to the evening, after I usually go home. 

I am not doing this for the overtime (I most likely will not put it on the timesheet) or even to impress my boss (I don’t plan on telling him, as he most likely wouldn’t like it). I am doing this for the customer and as we all know . . . the show must go on.

As far as my writing goes it is going well, and so far my chapters are up to my standard. I see a few places where I could put an extra chapter or six, all in Brian’s backstory but they would be extra. We get enough of a sense of what happened to him to shape him. 

We don’t need to spend a novel or two on his backstory. If I did that then this would be just another historical novel with a character set in The Wars of The Roses. Then you are limited to what actually happened and what things were actually like. Then I am playing in someone else’s back yard, and playing by someone else’s rules . . . boring.

Where I need to fatten up and add an extra chapter is at the end, at the conclusion of this book. There are a few thin chapters there and I know that I need to put an extra chapter there. That is coming soon, and it will prove interesting. 

Now that I know that this is the conclusion of a book and not a pause in one, I know I can tweak the ending. All in all the work on the book is going well and on schedule.

Laying Low, and Editing

Today has been a crazy day at work so that is why this blog entry is later than usual . . . sorry about that.

I find myself sticking close to work these days and just plopping down at the end of the day. I really don’t move much and just lay there and relax after work. I always have plans and ideas that I want to do at the start of the day, but just never get around to them at the end of the day. 

By the time the end of work comes rolling around, I am just tired, after all I have been up and working for the past thirteen hours by then. I am making progress on the book and it is coming along well. I know that I should be more active and do more . . . at least the dishes, but I just don’t.

I had thought about getting a part time job so I could earn a bit more and pay down those cards quicker. I know that I would be frazzled and spread thin before long.  

That would be even more work and I would be ever more tired than I am now. I will make do with what I have now, as I need to be able to focus on my writing. 

After all, I already work seven days a week at two jobs. One job is only during the weekdays and pays money, the other does not . . . yet. 

I am looking forward to my mini-break in Banff, but I know that it will mostly be a working break, but the scenery will be nice. 

So far the book has been mostly up to the required pages and number of words per chapter.  I have only needed to fatten one chapter a few pages and another chapter a smidgen. 

Once the book is as long as it is supposed to be and that extra chapter has been squeezed in where it is needed, I then can focus on how the whole book flows. 

I know that I can do this, as I have done this before, yet this is the first novel in a while that I actually plan to publish. The other books I decided were not worthy to be seen, so they remain on my hard drive, just gathering digital dust.

I Need a Vacation

It has been a long year and I need a break. While a jaunt to someplace warm would be nice, it is not in the cards for a few reasons: 1) money and 2) I don’t have a passport 3) What would I do with Wanda. 

Still, I could use a break, thankfully I will be getting one. Each year our company shuts down from Christmas Eve to New Year’s Day.  I had planned to stay close to my library and just putter around there for the time, but I got to thinking . . . gosh, a taste of civilization would be nice. 

I looked over my budget for the upcoming payday and with some serious slashing I was able to pay my $1000.00 to card #2 and pay that big phone bill. 

So I decided to treat myself and go camping in an ‘Electricity Only’ portion of a campground in Banff for that Winter Break. I got a steal of a deal and put it on the first card. This is what I call my Christmas Gift to me a very small extravagance yet something which I know I need.

This card will be paid off by the time that the second card is also paid off. This way I can just sit and have a nice time, relax and write. As well with the constant 120 Vac / 30Amp electricity, I can run my electric heater at the higher setting and save propane while I remain comfortable. 

I still plan to have Book One edited (first pass) by the time I am ready to leave this campground. I am well underway and should have this done before I leave for the campground on Christmas Eve Day. 

Part of me is saying that this is a mistake and that I should just cancel this trip as I shouldn’t spend a dime on anything that is not absolutely necessary.  I also know, that I need a break and to spend a bit of time in one place without worrying about someone kicking me out or asking me to move along. Besides, it is a nice way to finish off the year; one full year of being out of my townhouse. 

The Larger Picture of Cash Flow

There will be times when incidents happen that you need to take care of which can ruin or seriously disrupt your cash flow. Sometimes you can absorb such an unplanned expense, other times you can’t.

This is where a savings account comes in handy to top up your budget and keep your finances running smoothly. I have no savings account as all of my spare money goes to debt retirement. (Okay I have started to put $20.00 aside).

Well over the past few weeks I have had a few incidents where I could have used it, such as that sleeping bag and heater, and now my massive phone bill. The overage charges from October have finally hit me, to the tune of $400.00.

Now, I have a few options, all of which have advantages and disadvantages. As I said, the best option would be to have a savings account (Come August I plan to aggressively get going on one).

My first option is to pay the money out of the debt retirement budget. I can pay it off this month right away with that money and then only put say, $600.00 – $700.00 on the second card. If I did this I would miss goal of paying that second card off by April 1. That would then push paying the third card off possibly past August. Not something I am willing to do. 

I could just pay what I can this month and piss off the phone company for the next few months. Again an option and what I have done in the past when I have had little choice. I am working to get my credit into the excellent range and this will hurt my credit rating. So, one way or another that phone bill will get paid off in full this month like it has been every other month. 

I also could pay it off and just sink the main account into the overdraft. Technically that is what this is for. I am training myself that the overdraft doesn’t exist and to never ever go into it again, even for part of a day. 

So what I will do is pay my phone bill with the first credit card and pay it down with $50.00 a payday until it is done. If and when I get extra cash, it will go to eliminate this card. Right now it is sitting around $300.00 and so it will be around $700.00 with the phone bill on it. 

This way I can keep my overall pay-down on schedule, and still pay this card down over that same time frame. Sure I am paying interest, but this is worth it for me to keep that overall pay-down on schedule. In a few months I know I will have that first card paid off. I expect to do so by April 1 as well. 

By doing this I am proving to myself that I can put charges on a credit card and pay it off in a timely manner. It is an exercise to show that I can manage these things well. 

As far as the writing is going, I am doing well. I am averaging two chapters a morning, two passes each. Once this pass is done I will edit the whole book in one pass a few times, until I read it and make little changes. Then it will be ready for others to read and yes that editor I need.

At this pace, this process should not take long. I hope to have the book ready by January 1. (Then after all that hard work people can tell me it’s regurgitated rat-puke).

Stuff Just Happens . . . or Does It?

Once again this is me telling a story which doesn’t make me look all that good, but I shall share if for a purpose, if only for your amusement. 

So I did get my editing done in the morning and then decided that it was time to go to the bank so I could start my running around. I pulled my paycheque out from its safe place, signed it, put it in the envelope and tucked it into my jacket pocket. 

I then had to dart into Walmart for a ‘pit stop’ and ‘use the facilities,’ but after that I was off and at the bank. As I got out of the truck and did I quick check of what I had, my paycheque was missing. A quick search of the truck turned up nothing. 

My heart sank as I realized that in my desire to be prepared I had signed the back of the check so that anyone who found it could cash it. I drove back to where I had parked and searched around where the truck was parked . . . nothing. 

Then I walked towards the store, retracing my steps on my trip to the bathroom while scouring the ground . . . still nothing. It wasn’t until I got to the entrance that I found what shouldn’t be yet was, my paycheque still there in its envelope. 

Now by the way I put the check back in the envelope no name or anything was showing , it just looked like a black piece of paper in an unremarkable envelope. I picked it up and sure enough the cheque was still inside it. I was thankful and grateful to have it back. 

As I drove back to the bank I realized that different people would say that I found that cheque for different reasons. Each person would be just as firm in their belief as others.

Some would say that God protected that paycheque and ensured that it would be there for me to find. 

Others would say that it was not God but the powerful spirit or spirits which guided me back to it. 

Still others would say that it was the will of the universe that I found that wayward paycheque. 

Yet other people would say that it was a result of good Karma, that since I have helped others, that this good act came back to me.

Yet others would say that I was lucky, that nobody looks down when exiting a massive shopping store. We are looking for where we parked, we are looking for the traffic coming and going to and fro from the store. The one thing we are not doing is looking for interesting litter on the ground.

I know that that paycheque could have fallen out in a thousand different places and that I was fortunate to have gotten it back. Was it God, the Great Spirt, the Universe, Karma or just good luck? Who knows. I am just thankful that for whatever reason, I got it back.

We humans see events which happen and look for meaning in them. This happened because of this. That happened so that this other thing could take place. That tree fell over and died so that new plants could be nourished and grow from its carcass. We also look at events and label them as good or bad as a result of how we see them from our perspective. 

Sometimes there is no reason or greater good at work, sometimes a tree just dies.